What Happened to January?

spring boots snow

… and February and most of March?

Today is the day I decided to break my publishing silence. This morning I launched my blog for the first time in a couple months. In drafts, there sat a post with the title, “What happened to January?” I recall starting this post back in February, writing about starting fresh this year in alignment with the Chinese New Year to give me more time to settle into a new direction for my writing and the blog.

But today when I opened this post there was nothing—not a word. I reloaded twice thinking that the slow internet connection on the ranch was causing my words to remain invisible. Montana provides many things to enhance my writing, but a speedy internet connection is not one of them.

According to my blog, the answer to the question, “What happened to January?” is apparently “Nothing.”

Nothing happened on the blog and very little happened to me on social media. However, during my social silence my entire life has shifted profoundly in some very beautiful ways. I took the last couple months off to be quiet, to write for myself and to live.

I breathed through the difficult days and the joyful ones in much the same way—breath by breath. I committed to live my life as if each moment matters, because I know they are all I have. I found joy and contentment in even the darkest hours just by redirecting my thoughts.

I focused on myself and on my practice. I got clear on the difference between a yoga practice for personal reintegration and a yoga practice for community and social interaction. There is a place for both practices. I find my time alone to work though whatever is happening in my mind and body each day to be the yoga practice for me. This I do in silence, alone.

I stopped saying yes when I want to scream, “Hell no!” This is a new practice for me and I highly recommend it. For so long I have done things (or agreed to do things) that I didn’t want to do. No more. I take time to consider the needs of others, yes, but I am getting better at listening to the wise voice in me and honoring my needs.

What happened to January, February and March?

Let’s call it my social hibernation. I passed the months of winter getting quiet and sill long enough to be able to hear myself again. We can only make change when can discern what needs to be done and what needs to be left behind.

Today marks my half birthday (why celebrate only once a year). Here are a just a few things I am celebrating…

I made my writing time sacred. I wrote simply to create. This has taught me much about my writing habits and my focus. So many habits I had to distract myself! I found writing to be of great benefit to me, even if I never share the words with anyone. I have felt words flow; I have mentally choked on the thoughts I did not expect to arise. Through it all I have kept on writing.

I wrote without publishing. Sometimes keeping quiet and doing our solitary work it the best choice. Change the mind and the life will change. We have all heard this. We may even have found this to be true. But still we focus outside ourselves and find fault with the world all around ignoring the messy, often painful work of cleaning up our own minds and minding our own business.

I spent a lot of quality time with the people I love. This included generous, regularly scheduled periods of solitude. Yes, I love myself and I deserve time to unwind. My time alone makes me a better mother, sister, daughter and wife.

It is spring. It is official. Pay no attention to the dusting of snow on the ground.

Time to purge and clean out the clutter—get rid of things that no longer serve us so we can stop stumbling over them as we move forward in our ever-blossoming life. This should include faulty thoughts and old mental tapes.

Start with the closet if that helps you, even the fridge can be very therapeutic and healthy too. But don’t neglect the mind. This is the most important work to do to free us from regret, worry and fear. We all seek more happiness and this can only come from within.

So where does this leave the Daily Breath Blog…

I remain committed to being of benefit and to leaving the world better than I found it. Soon I will be launching a new website focused on my writing. I am working on my first book, to be released sometime in the fall. Over the next few months I will be moving my residence to Montana. Our new house is almost ready to be occupied. Summer will be filled with digging in the dirt and enjoying the simple practices of daily living—gardening, cooking, exploring and spending time with family.

And the most wonderful news last…

Winter months in Montana can get pretty cold and I was told removing all your clothes is the best way to stay alive. Turns out it is a very enjoyable way to pass the cold winter months. It is also a fantastic way to create new life. Enter baby Bean (nicknamed by Atticus), expected to arrive sometime in late October. Our family is growing!

What will come first the Bean or the Book?

Stay tuned and we will find out together. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I have missed you!

xo Jenn

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